Conference Championship Picks

Well, I was feeling pretty good about my "take all the home favorites" last Saturday as Green Bay dismsantled Seattle. Then I preceded to lose the next 3 games. Not good times.

So this week I am taking both the road dogs. Pats as a 14 point favorite over the Chargers is just silly. Fourteen Points? There is no team in the history of the NFL that should be a 14 point favorite over the Chargers. Second, I think Green Bay is overrated. In conclusion, the Chargers and the Giants to cover.

Last Week Record: 1-3

Overall Playoff Record: 4-4

PA

Divisional Playoff Picks

Well last week was a pretty good week. I went 3-1. The only game I got wrong was the Bucs game and I got it horribly wrong. After the first quarter I was about 100% confident in my pick and then they just fell apart. It was sad to watch. Garcia played awful, refusing to throw the ball more than 10 yards in the air. It was like watching a high school quarterback. I think the Bucs need to draft a franchise quarterback next year or trade for Donovan McNabb. I would prefer the latter. Knowing Gruden's penchant for veterans it seems like Mcnabb could be a good fit. He is also mobile and could play the Rich Gannon role to perfection in Gruden's offense.

On to this weeks picks.

Seattle at Green Bay (-7.5)

Seattle's defense looked solid last week. But the offense looked really bad. Hasselbeck was woefully inaccurate and Shaun Alexander has lost everything. Maurice Morris is serviceable but that is about all you can give him. They have to travel to Lambeau and play a Packers team that had a week off to rest and possesses better talent on the offensive side of the ball. The Packers corners should be able to contain Branch and Hackett. I just don't see how this team could beat the the Packers in Green Bay. I mean they barely got by a mediocre Redskins team with a 40 year old QB in Seattle. It' possible that Seattle loses by less than 7.5 but that is much more unlikely than the Packers winning by 10 or more. So although I hate the Packers I have to take them to cover.

Jacksonville at New England (-13)

Brady is going to carve up the Jacksonville secondary. I could see him putting up 5 TDs on them. I do wish this line was a little lower though. New England has been playing way too many close games lately to justify a 13 point line. On the other hand, they are rested and the game is at Foxborough. Jacksonville, however, has a really good power running game. So basically I think Jacksonville could cover, but not win. I could see it being a close game and I could see it being a blowout. This makes it a really tough pick. In the end, you have to go with Belicheck and Brady to cover.

San Diego at Indianapolis (-8)

I don't see San Diego making this a close game. Indy is getting Harrison back and it's at the RCA Dome. Without Gates San Diego has absolutely no shot. LDT looked very pedestrian against Tennessee last week. Now I know Indy's run D is not as good as Tennessee's but it is a respectable unit. No chance Rivers outplays Manning. Thus, the Colts to cover.

New York at Dallas (-7.5)

No one wants to take all the home favorites, but I don't see how I can help it. The Giants must be worn out at the point. Whereas, the Cowboys are well rested and the game is in Dallas. Can the Giants really win two playoff road games in a row? This seems highly unlikely. Owens should play, which to me puts this game over the edge to Dallas who has already beaten New York twice this season. Some people seem to point to Dallas's two wins this season as a disadvantage because "it's so hard to beat a team three times in the same season." This seems like complete nonsense to me. The giants have had two tries to prove they are as good as the dallas and they failed both times. You think the Cowboys are going to let this game slip by and not be prepared? Ridiculous. The cowboys to cover.

PA

Wild Card Playoff Picks

It's playoff time. I am happy because the playoffs are wildly entertaining, but sad at the same time because it signals the beginning of the end. I am going to have take up fantasy baseball to make the 8 month off-season bearable. Maybe if the Rays can have a decent season. Kazmir-Shields-Garza baby.

Washington at Seattle (-3.5)

Washington has been good the last four weeks, but at the same time they haven't really played anyone. They beat a mediocre (at best) Bears team, beat a brutally inconsistent Giants team, beat the overrated vikings, and then beat a Dallas team that was not trying. Furthermore, they have a senile old man as coach. I give him zero credit for their resurgence. If this game is close he may very well find a way to screw it up. Seattle has not been playing amazing over the last part of the season, but they had everything sealed up so you can't read too much into that. The two most important factors are that they have a lot of playoff experience and the game is at home in what is supposedly the loudest stadium in the nfl. There defense has been good most of the season and Hasselbeck is having one of his best seasons. The only thing that worries me is their poor health at receiver -- Hackett is out and Branch is questionable. Well, that and there non-existent running game. But all in all, I think the Seahawks are a much better team than the Redskins especially in Seattle. Seattle to win and cover.

Jacksonville (-3) at Pittsburgh

While I think Jacksonville could very well win this game, making them a three point favorite at Pittsburgh is a little much. Pittsburgh is a good team with a lot of playoff experience. I know they have suffered some recent injuries (Parker and Aaron Smith), but they still have a decent offense. davenport isn't that much of a downgrade from Parker and Big Ben is a solid NFL starting QB. The only thing that worries me is the pathetic pass protection of the Pittsburgh offensive line. How do these guys keep making pro bowls when Big Ben is getting pressured every time he drops back? Spicer and Stroud may each register a couple of sacks. Jacksonville has been great lately but other than Freddy Taylor they lack a lot of playoff experience. Furthermore, they will be coming into a hostile environment where the field conditions will be suspect at best. Both of these factors favor Pittsburgh who has a more of a power running game than Jacksonville. Garrard may have to win this game for Jville and I am not sure if he can do it. Don't get me wrong I am huge Garrard fan, but he is unproven in the playoffs. My heart says he can do it, but my head says to play it safe and take Pittsburgh. So I'll take Pittsburgh and the points.

New York at Tampa (-3)
I am, of course, a big Bucs fan. I don't think they are particularly good this year, but I don't think I can pick against them when they are at Tampa. Gruden is a super bowl coach, the defense is playing well, and garcia has been good in the playoffs. That is enough for me to pick them over the horrendously inconsistent Giants who have a bevy on injury problems. Eli will get pressured and he will make some bad decisions and the Bucs will capitalize. On a slightly unrelated note, did anyone else see that Peter King names Jeremy Trueblood to his all pro team. This absolutely shocked me. I know the guy has been decent, but an all pro. Wow. I'm guessing he's not going to get to many other votes. Bucs to cover.

Tennessee at San Diego (-10)
This is a very large line. Tennessee is of course awful. They have an awful quaterback be it Vince Young or Kerry Collins. There running game is mediocre and there defense is decent, but it seems like haynesworth isn't at full strength. San Diego is peaking. I think Turner did a good job not running LDT to death in the regular season. He looks fresh and I expect big things from him. It's in san Diego and these two teams appear to be headed in opposite direction so I will take the Chargers to cover.

PA

East Coast Bias or East Coast Truth?

Los Angeles, California. My new home. The instant gratification capital of the world. You can find almost anything you want… except for clean air and intelligent sports conversation.

Before this football season, there was a lot of hoopla surrounding the PacTen. In typical PacTen fashion, they flopped. Only a fool would argue that the PacTen is better than the SEC in football, and yet I get into this argument on almost a weekly basis. This year alone, the SEC finished the regular season with 6 teams in the top 25. The Pac10 managed only two. The PacTen has one dominant team, USC, while rest of the conference takes turns being decent or horrendous. Take USC out of the conference and it’s weaker than the Big East. Even lowly Notre Dame finished 2-1 against the PacTen.

Let’s take a look at the last couple years of NCAA football championships. (I’ll consider split national titles to a half.)

Last 5 Years: SEC – 1 ½, PacTen – 1 ½

Last 10 Years: SEC – 2 ½, PacTen – 1 ½

Last 15 Years: SEC – 4 ½, PacTen – 1 ½

Last 30 Years: SEC – 7, PacTen – 2

Interestingly, the University of Florida has won as many football titles in the last 11 years than the Pac 10 managed in the last 29 years. Also, in the last 30 years, schools from the state of Florida have won 8 titles outright and 1 split title... while the Pac 10 has won only 1 outright and 2 split.

As for all of this talk of the Pac 10 being a premier basketball conference, they’ve actually been pretty mediocre in recent memory. (The only thing more overrated than PacTen basketball is Notre Dame football, but I digress.) Let’s take a look at the most recent NCAA hoops championships.

Last 5 Years: SEC – 2, PacTen – 0

Last 10 Years: SEC – 3, PacTen – 0

Last 15 Years: SEC – 5, PacTen – 2

Last 25 Years: SEC – 5, PacTen – 2

Last 30 Years: SEC – 6, PacTen – 2

Sure, you can go back to the glory days of UCLA more than 40 years ago, but isn’t that a little desperate if you are trying to make an argument about the current strength of a conference?

The Heisman “Controversy”

As if they didn’t have enough causes célèbres out here in LaLa land, many folks out here have adopted the “Colt Brennan for Heisman” campaign. Because the PacTen’s best hopes John David Booty and Dennis Dixon proved unworthy, some folks out here on the Left Coast latched on to Laguna Beach’s native son. In case you’ve been living in a cave for the last couple of years, Brennan has managed to rack up absurd stats in a pass-happy offense while playing creampuff schedules. He’s a slightly better version of the previous fraud at Hawaii, Timmy Chang..

So for those "East Coast Bias" conspiracy theorists that think Colt Brennan should’ve won the Heisman over Timmy Tebow, here are 6 reasons why you are wrong.

1. Strength of Schedule

Hawaii’s strength of schedule ranked 118 out of 119 Division I-A schools. That is correct. They played the second easiest schedule in the nation. Florida’s strength of schedule ranked 8^th. Needless to say, its easier to rack up gaudy statistics when you play a patsy ever week.

2. Raw Statistics

Colt Brennan’s 2007 Season

Passing: 337 of 472 for 4174 yards. 38 TDs and 14 INTs.

Rushing: 73 rushes for 65 yards. 8 TDs, 0 Fumbles.

46 Total Touchdowns, 4239 Total Yards

Timmy Tebow’s 2007 Season

Passing: 217 of 317 for 3132 yards. 29 TDs and 6 INTs.

Rushing: 194 rushes for 838 yards. 22 TDs, 0 Fumbles.

51 Total Touchdowns, 3970 Total Yards

So Timmy Tebow had more touchdowns, fewer turnovers, and comparable total yardage… this while playing the 8^th toughest schedule in the country.

Some people have made the comment “well, Colt was hurt for a couple games.” While that is true, it’s just proof that Colt Brennan is fragile. If he were to play a touch schedule against even average d-lines, who knows what would’ve happened. Meanwhile, Timmy Tebow played both the Kentucky and Georgia games with a severely bruised right shoulder… and played for the majority of the Florida State game with a broken hand! (As an aside, he finished a high school game in Florida with a broken leg, scoring on a 60 yard TD run.)

3. Quarterback Rating/Passing Efficiency:

Congratulations to Colt Brennan for finishing third in both the Heisman voting, as well as nationwide passing efficiency. Unfortunatly for him, he finished behind Timmy Tebow in both. Yes, that is correct. Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford ranks #1 in the country, Timmy Tebow is #2, and Colt Brennan is #3. And honestly, numbers 1 and 2 on that list are more impressive considering their schedule strength.

4. Character

The following is an excerpt from Colt Brennan’s bio. Needless to say, he is NOT a role model for our nation’s youth.

Brennan originally joined the University of Colorado football team in 2003 as a walk-on. He spent the year as a redshirt. On January 28, 2004, Brennan entered the dorm room of a University of Colorado coed uninvited and, according to the coed "exposed himself and fondled her." Brennan, who was intoxicated at the time of the incident, was arrested and eventually pleaded guilty to charges of burglary and trespassing, but a guilty verdict for unlawful sexual contact was vacated by the court for lack of evidence. After the incident, which was caught up in the middle of the time when CU was flooded with other accusations of sex crimes and revelations of wild recruiting parties involving Colorado football players, Brennan was almost immediately kicked off the team.

If you have a daughter in college, remind her to lock her doors at night to keep douchebags like Colt Brennan from making unannounced visits.

Meanwhile, Timmy Tebow is a model citizen…

It is Tebow’s off-field exploits that have perpetuated his legend throughout the state. Born in the Philippines as the son of a missionary, Tebow returns there nearly every year to preach. He plans to go back during spring break, a trip that would include spending time at the orphanage his father’s ministry set up. “We go into medical clinics, hospitals, prisons, marketplaces and schools,” Tebow said. “You preach and help out. I love going every year and I can’t wait until I go back.”

I don’t think anything else needs to be said here.

5. Darren McFadden

Let’s be honest for a second… Timmy Tebow was the #1 player in college football, and Run DMC was #1A. Mentioning Colt Brennan in the same breath as either McFadden or Tebow is blasphemy.

6. His name is “Colt”

In 2006, the most popular baby names in America were Jacob, Michael, Joshua, and Ethan. In Orange County, California the most popular names were Skyler, Lundon, Colt, and Trae. Yeah…

SR

An Inquiry

First, two big losers from the Oregon-Arizona game (other than, you know, Oregon fans):

1. Dennis Dixon. It sucks to see your championship hopes disappear in the hands of Brady Leaf after an injury where nobody hit you. Especially when your suspect defense actually showed some backbone in the second half and kept you in the game. But hey, at least you might still win the Heisman, and if that's not a recipe for future happiness, NFL success, and good character, I don't know what is. Except for that Chris Weinke guy. What an asshat.*

2. The father of Ryan and Brady Leaf. Good lord, you sire not one but two scholarship D-I quarterbacks, and the lasting memories of both will be ineptitude and failure. Odds this guy is going to send a package bomb to Archie Manning are hovering around 3:1.


Second, the inquiry. Say Oregon won this game despite losing Dixon and won at UCLA and in the Civil War, and say Dixon's injury is one that knocks him out for the season. Further assume that Kansas doesn't go undefeated and LSU wins out, leaving the BCS standings, in theory, largely the same.

Would you still put Oregon into the National Championship game? On the one hand, it's kind of shitty to punish the entire team for an injury to one player, especially if they continued to win despite that loss (though beating Oregon State and Karl Dorrell isn't all that much to write home about). On the other, does anyone really think Oregon would have a snowball's chance in hell of beating LSU in New Orleans without Dixon?



Ed. Note: Mostly sarcasm. Although anytime your grandkids attend the Heisman ceremony, you really should feel like an asshat on your own.

Week 10: NFL Lines

Well, it has been a while. We are hoping we can make this a weekly Friday feature for the rest of the season. A small caveat: I have never made money betting on football. In fact, I often lose money. With that said, here we go:

Jackosnville (+4) at Tennessee

This is a tough one. Tennessee wins games even though the team appears to be composed exclusively of players who are not good at football. Very puzzling. Alas, Jacksonville is not good either. Also, Jack del Rio is a moron and refuses (to the dismay of Jags fans and fantasy owners alike) to use his best weapon -- Maurice Jones-Drew -- on a consistent basis. The game is at Tennessee which means nothing to me. So let's see...I'll take Jacksonville. Based on the assumption that Garrard will be back, which seems to be better than 50/50 right now. If Gray starts I'll take Tennessee. Either way, I don't like this game. Stay away from it. (Confidence: None).

Denver at KC (-3)

Denver is really bad. They no longer have a good running game. When did this happen? Couldn't someone have told me this before I wasted a first round pick on Travis Henry. Maybe there chop blocking O- line is getting old? Who knows. I think they miss McCaffrey. I mean, who doesn't? Ramsey actually looked better than Cutler last week. It is never good when Patrick Ramsey looks better than your starting quarterback. They are facing the Chiefs who would have an equally pathetic offense except that they have one good player -- Tony Gonzales. The Chiefs actually have a decent defense now under Herm Edwards. To top it all off, the game is at Arrowhead. Making the obvious pick the Chiefs. (Confidence: Some).

Buffalo (-3) at Miami

Really? Buffalo is only three point favorites. Really? The Bills have a good defense, great special teams, and a decent offense with Losman back to his late 2006 form. With Lynch and Lee Evans coming on strong the last few weeks this team can now be considered semi-dangerous. On the flip side, the Dolphins are pathetic in every possible respect. They actually bear an uncanny resemblance to Grant's fantasy football team. The Bills will win by a lot more than three. (Confidence: A Lot).

Cleveland (+10) at Pittsburgh

I'm surprised this line isn't higher based on the way the Steelers just dismantled the Ravens Monday night. That was ugly. Luckily, Cleveland's offense is approximately 100000x better than the Ravens offense. If you haven't gotten on the Derek "HorseBalls" Anderson bandwagon yet, then let me tell you brother, it is time to join. Spots are filling up quickly. Kellen Winslow is the best tight end in the game and Braylon Edwards is a top-5 receiver. I remember Pittsburgh being not that good early on in the season. Thus, the pick is Cleveland. (Confidence: Very Little). I like this to be a high scoring game so I am going with the over (47.5). (Confidence: More than in the Browns).

St. Louis at New Orleans (-12)

Jesus. Twelve points is a lot. I know St Louis is bad, but twelve points. Jesus. Steven Jackson is back, but word is he won't get a full workload. I don't like that. That means we will be seeing some Brian Leanord. There are no white starting running backs in the NFL for a reason and that reason is not reverse racism. New Orleans offense has been clicking and St. Louis's D will offer no resistance. Also, the Rams O-Line is terrible and New Orleans has some good pass rushers (see Grant, Charles). I doubt Bulger survives the whole game. The pick is the Saints at home. (Confidence: Not that much). I like the over here as well (46.5). (Confidence: High if Bulger finishes the game). On a somewhat unrelated note, is Jim Haslett still the defensive coordinator in St. Louis? I bet as he is watching Brees and Colston lite up his secondary, he will really be wishing the Saints hadn't fired his ass. And also hating Katrina. Bitch.

Atlanta at Carolina (-4)

Holy crap. What a terrible game. I mean, seriously, I pity anyone who is getting the game on Fox and doesn't have Sunday Ticket. Brutal. Which offense is worse? I'm going to say Atlanta. Testaverde>Harrington, Steve Smith>Roddy White, Foster/Williams>Dunn (Norwoood appears unlikely to play). Also, the game is at Carolina and the Panthers have Peppers, who should get to Harrington a couple times. The pick is Carolina (Confidence: Some).

Philadelphia at Washington(-3)

Are there any good teams in the NFL. Another awful game. Despite their record, Washington is not good. Don't be fooled. On the other side, this is Philadelphia's worst team since the mid 90s. I don't understand all the McNabb haters. I mean look what this guy has to work with: Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis. Are you kidding me? Yeah, Westbrook is good, but give the guy a decent WR before you run him out of town. I'll take McNabb on the Bucs anyday. I suspect Clinton Portis will have a good game and Jason Campbell will throw his first TD to a WR. Why? The Eagles defense is bad. Which is very odd. Jim Johnson usually fields a reasonable squad. The pick is Washington at RFK (Confidence: In the Redskins? You must be kidding).

Minnesota at Green Bay (-6)

Man this is difficult. Now I understand why it is so tough to make money gambling and why the Sports Guy can never go over .500 with his picks. Well you know a reason other than the whole him being a colossal douche bag. I'm scared to pick against the Vikings and Purple Jesus after that performance against a respectable Chargers D. But Green Bay is, and I can't believe I'm saying this, actually good at football. I know they don't have a running game , but that is okay because it cancels out Minne's great running D. Farve will throw for three and Brooks Bollinger (why are there so many awful Wisconsin QBs in the NFL) will get sacked by Kampman at least 2 times. And its at Lambeau, I'll take the Packers (Confidence: Pretty Decent). The Vikings must have some bad karma after that whole Troy Williamson fiasco. What a classless organization. Fuck you Zygi Wolf or Wilf or whatever your stupid ass name is. Also, Childress looks like a used car salesman.

Cincinnati at Baltimore (-4)

Cincinnati is really bad. The gain of Chris Henry from suspension is offset by the possible loss of Chad Johnson (neck injury). Does anyone remember when Rudi Johnson was good at football? Me neither. Oh wait, it was just last year when I took him fifth overall in fantasy. As for the Ravens, their offense is spectacularly bad. I am on the "it's time to start Troy Smith bandwagon." However, the Cinci defense works wonders for bad offenses. I know the Ravens D looked bad on Monday, but they have a lot of pride and I expect them to bounce back against Cinci. This pick is Baltimore (Confidence: Not too much).

Chicago (-3.5) at Oakland

I know Chicago is down from last year. But we are talking about Oakland and Josh McCown here. This is an absolutely horrendous football team. Fargas is a huge upgrade over Lamont Jordan , but it won't be enough. Plus, Lane Kiffin has already said he is going to kick to Devin Hester (not a good idea). Ill take Da Bears. (Confidence: Mediocre)

Dallas (-2.5) at New York

Marion Barber may be my new favorite player. You have to love the way he runs. Its impossible not to like Romo and somehow Wade Phillips and crew have kept TO in line. This is a good Dallas team. I know New York has won six in a row, but I just can't see them beating Dallas. In fact, thinking about their roster I am shocked they are 6-2. Burress is good and Jacobs is a better pure runner than Barber was, but I just can't get to the point of declaring Eli good. I think Eli loses a close game with a stupid mistake. Nick Folk will make the clutch kicks. The pick is the Cowboys (Confidence: Decent)

Detroit (pick em) at Arizona

Really? Pick em? I don't understand this line. Marinelli has the Lions defense playing really well. Yes, they still give up a lot of yards sometimes but they are extremely opportunistic. They remind me a lot of Jim Johnson's old Philly defenses which never looked that good stat-wise, but always managed to get a timely turnover. Martz has really turned this bunch around on offense. They have the best WR core in the NFL (yes that includes the Pats) and with Kevin Jones healthy they have a nice dual threat at RB. I watch a lot of Lions games because I live in the midwest and they are always on TV, so I speak with some knowledge here. Kitna was bad last year -- so bad in fact I was quoted as saying that Lions would be 12-4 in 2006 if Brady Quinn were their quarterback. I know Kitna's numbers weren't that bad, but he ALWAYS made a stupid play that cost the team the game. Always, always, always. This year he still has the same confidence, but has decided to stop making that one stupid pass that gets taken back for a pick 6. It really is amazing what Martz has done with him in one year. On the other side, Warner is awful. Just god awful. Look for Shaun Rodgers to get at least a sack. I would take the lions even if this were a 10 point spread. The pick, of course, is the Lions. (Confidence: Possum Avenger Guarantee of the Week).

Indianapolis (-4) at San Diego

Is this team about to quit on Norv Turner. It would seem that way. Why doesn't he run Ladanian and Michael Turner more? I am pretty shocked at the regression of Rivers under Turner considering how well Turner coached up Alex Smith last season. On the other hand, Indy is really good. I mean they almost beat the Pats without there left (or is it right) tackle and Marvin Harrison. They should have no problem with the sinking ship that is the Chargers. I like Indy (Confidence: Good)

San Francisco (+10) at Seattle

Seattle isn't good enough to be 10 point favorites over anyone. Even if it is the lowly 49ers. I'm genuinely surprised at how bad this 49ers team is. Mike Nolan's job security is fading fast. I think they step up on the Monday Night stage and make a game of it. (Confidence: Low).

In review, it seems I took a lot of the favorites. That's what they say "lay" people do. And trust me, I am no expert.

So here is the parlay of the week: Detroit to win and Buffalo and Indy to cover. It pays 6:1 at Bodog.

PA

breaking news

Report: WNBA awards Atlanta franchise for '08 season

Expansion? Really?? I mean, apparently it doesn't matter that most of our major sports leagues are already bloated due to overexpansion - at least they regularly make money. Here I was under the impression that businesses generally expanded when they were doing well and the market wanted it. Congrats to you, Atlanta - now Hawks games will seem even more appealing.

Lemme just say this - when you're deciding who makes the Championship by a best of three series, you know you're not important. Nothing gets resolved by a best of three contest. At the very least, it's expected to play best of five rock-paper-scissors for the last piece of pie.

in case you missed it

STANFORDSTANFORDSTANFORDSTANFORDSTANFORDSTANFORD!

oh right, other things happened this weekend in college football. here's a few that may have slipped through ESPN's mind-controlling tendrils:

1. Mississippi State beats UAB, 30-13. No, this is not news because of the result of the game; UAB is a one victory team and an obvious cupcake on the MSU schedule. What makes this noteworthy is it brings the Bulldog record to 4-2, currently tied with Auburn, Alabama, Florida, and Georgia. Granted, they now have to play the meat of their schedule, and bowl eligibility is still very much up in the air.

BUT DID YOU KNOW - Mississippi State has not won 4 games in a season since 2000, when they went 7-5. That's an astonishing streak of terribility (definitely a word), and they've already broken it with five games left to play. Maybe Sylvester Croom knows what he's doing in Starkville.

2. Mizzou is apparently a force to be reckoned with, after proving they're not just paper tigers - see what I did there? See? Go back and check.

They didn't just beat Nebraska, they thwomped them. The only thing Chase Daniel didn't do in this game was pluck a giant radish, Mario 2 style, and throw it at Bill Callahan. The Tigers racked up over 600 yards of offense and held the Huskers to six points. Funny, it seemed like their week one victory over the Fighting Zookers was just a glorified cripple fight - now it'd be a big game between conference leaders.

3.
Honestly, Kyle - you've attempted over 700 passes in your college career. You've started about 25 games. Coming into this game you'd only thrown 21 interceptions to 32 touchdowns.

And you turned in maybe the worst performance of any big program starter I've seen in a while. The stats don't really reflect how putrid you were, mostly because the bulk of your yards and one of your touchdowns came on long, heaving prayers where you somehow managed not to overthrow the receiver or put the ball 6 yards out of bounds on a sideline fly pattern.

These interceptions were terrible and came at the worst possible times. Maybe the Tar Heel linebackers looked like All-Pro receivers because the only check down you made was to make sure your testicles were still there (fact: they were not).

But I will say, it was a helluva lot of fun to watch a Miami game and root for Butch Davis with a clean conscience.

character, dammit!

so apparently we are all terrible about posting to the site. that should change, and i encourage you to email adam and grant mercilessly until they do something about it.

i had the unfortunate honor of being at the uf-auburn game with adam, a disappointing loss in any number of ways. personally, for all the shit our defense takes, i think they were the unit that had the best overall performance in the game. but i digress.

as my fellow posters would probably attest, this was not nearly UF's worst loss or even the worst loss we attended. shit, pick any one of our losses in 2003. that year still leaves an awful taste in my mouth.

but all those losses are good for a football team in the long run, and they're good for the fan base as well. these are what i like to call character losses. granted, losses are never fun, and not all losses are character losses; for instance, the 2003 FSU-UF victory remains the absolute worst officiated game i've ever seen. there's nothing to gain from that except disdain for ACC officials and chris rix, and we really didn't need any more of either.

the beautiful thing about character losses is they make you appreciate big wins and championships all the more. the success of the gators last year doesn't really mean the same thing to you if you hadn't seen these same players struggle and choke and sputter to losses in games they could have won. losses like the auburn game test your fan loyalty, because it's easy to root for a team that wins and wins and wins but harder to support them wholeheartedly when they play a really crappy game. i can still remember the 2002 UF-Miami game in gainesville where it seemed like 1/4 of the student section had sold their tickets because it looked like we were gonna get waxed (coincidentally, we did). that's fucking awful and those are probably the same people buying "gator peat" t-shirts for their kids.

so, oklahoma, texas, rutgers, west virginia, and florida fans, buck up. you may have all lost last saturday, but it's good for your fans. football teams that don't struggle just aren't that interesting.

Do the Raiders wish they did not draft Jamarcus Russell?

Jamarcus Russell's holdout is now the longest for a number 1 pick since Bo Jackson held out the entire 1984 season so that he did not have to play for the Bucs (by the way: Super Bowl titles for Bo = 0, for the Bucs = 1, suck it Bo). It has been reported on profootballtalk.com that Jamarcus is in no hurry to get a deal done since he does not really want to play for the Raiders anyways. It is beginning to look like Russell may hold out well into the season. Even if he does report soon, he will have virtually no chance of starting this year -- the season is lost for Jamarcus and the Raiders. Seeing what has transpired do the Raiders wish they had picked someone else? Here are two interesting candidates.

Brady Quinn:

Quinn held out for a bit with the Browns so there is no guarantee he would have signed with the Raiders by now, but it certainly seems likely. The Raiders, particularly Al Davis, were higher on Russell because he had a big arm and Davis loves to throw the ball downfield. But if Lane Kiffin is installing a similar offense to the one he co-ran at USC it would seem like Brady Quinn would be a better fit. He is much more in the mold of Leinhart, who obviously excelled in this offense, than Russell is. Not only that but Quinn has looked very impressive in his first two preseason games for the Browns. If I were a Raiders exec I would definitely be wishing I took Quinn at this point.

Adrian Peterson

Culpepper has looked very good running the Raiders offense in the preseason. He does not appear to have all his pre-shredded knee mobility back, but even 75% of what he was would be pretty good. Let's not forget that just three years ago he had one of the greatest season's for a quarterback ever with Nate Burelson as his primary target. If the Raiders had Adrian Perterson in the backfield with Culpepper (as opposed to the perennially under achieving Lamont Jordan) they would be looking half-way dangerous at this point. This possibly explosive offense paired with their young talented defense would really have made them a pretty decent team. If they had drafted Peterson, they could have worked out a trade earlier for Culpepper and he would have been around for the entirety of training camp and would be running the offense much more proficiently at this point. I think this would have been the ideal (and cheaper) situation for the Raiders and they must really regret having taken the no-show Russell.

PA

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The Unnamed Victims of Michael Vick

the other day i saw a teenage kid walking down the street wearing a michael vick jersey. he was probably just being a smartass, but this got me to thinking - there are people out there who own a jersey that is totally worthless. over the years i have owned hardy nickerson, warrick dunn and john lynch jerseys, and it was always a sad day when those players left the bucs. but i could always wear the jersey without being a total jackass, a luxury once proud owners of vick's jersey do not have.

but the people who are REALLY screwed are the people who have michael vick tattoos. i actually know a lot about this, despite the fact that i myself have no tattoos. why, you ask?

because, when i was twelve, i was dead set on getting a shawn kemp tattoo.

shawn kemp was a fantastic basketball player at the time, a ferocious dunker, seemingly with room to develop, paired with gary payton in his prime. i probably played with that sonics team 3/4 of the time on NBA Live '95 (a game so great it deserves its own post) and i pulled hard for them in the '96 Finals. so, because all people from the age of eleven to sixteen are pretty much total idiots, i decided i needed to have this man inked on my right arm. i never really planned it out in detail, but i imagine it would have looked like this:

actually, maybe the basketball should be a flaming skull.

point is, after the lockout, the reign man gained almost 150 pounds, the label of malcontent, and roughly 14-58 illegitimate children. he was never again even marginally relevant as a basketball player. AND I ALMOST HAD HIS FACE PERMANENTLY PLACED ON MY ARM.

that's the position anyone with a vick tattoo is essentially in now, and there's no going back. the safest course of action is clearly to never get any person tattooed on you, be it mother teresa or tony dungy or even, god bless his salty self, ole ball coach. say jarvis moss never finds the strength of thor and doesn't block that kick in the south carolina game - wouldn't you feel a little shitty taking a shower the next day and looking down at the visored one tatted on your left pec?

i thought so.

(but grant should still get the box scores of every florida-georgia game inked on his back if he ever wants to be respected as a true gator fan.)

RN

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So You Own A Personalized Jersey....

First things first, I'm deeply sorry. Second things second, I don't know if we can be friends anymore. Why, you ask? Because jokers who put their own name on the jersey of their favorite team bother me. A lot. They bother me more than bandwagon fans, more than fans who boo their own team (much more on this in an upcoming post), more than unknowledgable fans who don't know that they don't know anything; even more than fans of miami-area teams (essentially the first 3 types of terrible fans all rolled up into one loud-mouthed package, but I'm not gonna let myself go off on a tangent here).

What iritates me so much is that no self-respecting, normal male sports fan would ever, ever, EVER buy one for himself. These things are almost always forced on to people; whether it be by family members, significant others, or insanity. Think about your most common personalized jersey-wearer:

1) The 1o-and-under crowd who doesn't really have a choice in the matter and doesn't want to throw a temper tantrum and risk not getting to go (for the record, this will be the last time I mention this group; Sports Indeed doesn't take cheap shots at the kids),

2) The fanatical, borderline nutjob who'd probably run over an opposing team's player with their car if given the chance, and

3) The guy who got it from his girlfriend/wife and only wears it when she decides to come to a game with him.

Side note about #3: Ladies, if you're thinking about buying that special guy in your life a jersey with his name on the back, please ask his friends first, for his sake. If they say no, don't get it. If they say yes, and start laughing or look like they're trying not to laugh (be very aware of this response, it's the most likely), don't get it. If they say yes, ask your boyfriend/husband, screw the surprise, some things are more important, like his pride. If they say yes, and he says yes, break up with him.

Now if you are stuck with a personalized jersey, all hope is not lost, there are levels of acceptablitity, meaning that unless you fall into the last category, there are still some poor saps out there that even you can chew on. In order from most acceptable to least:

1. Your name matches the name of an actual player on the team. This makes for an easy explanation: "We were good friends as kids, we have the same last name, and now he plays for my favorite team. It was too crazy not to do." This is, of course, a lie, but when it comes to personalized jerseys, all bets are off. The only pitfall is that the number probably won't match; but this can be explained away by saying your "friend" was one of the last guys to make the team and thus has had his number switched multiple times. No one's going to do near the research necessary to find out if that's a lie, so you should be in the clear.

2. Your name, random number that has no connection to you at all. As you can see, there's really only one option that can have a positive spin. This is the first, and least severe, of the terrible ones.

3. Your name, number that you wore in your high school "playing days." Dear this person, you weren't good then, and you're worse now. Please stop doing this to yourself.

4. Your name, number of the team's star. Unequivocally, undeniably, irrefutably the worst of all the personalized jerseys. This is the turkey wearing the Pats #13 jersey with the name Garcia on the back. You know who you are buddy, although you probably aren't reading this.

That's all I've got for now. Make sure to check for my next opinions column in a week or so or month or year or.......

GPR

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"2 Live Crew Style"

Last week, the new University of Miami Football Coach, Randy Shannon welcomed back rapper Uncle Luke (Luther Campbell) to the program. Luke had been "banned" from the Hurricane program since the early '90's when Miami was put on probation for excessive NCAA violations. One alleged violation was Luke's "bounty" payments to players for touchdowns, interceptions, big hits, and even knocking opponents out of games (Luke denies the allegations til this day). Unfortunately for kickers, field goals or touchbacks were not a part of his alleged policy. As you can imagine, Randy Shannon has been under fire for the invitation, but says that Luke has turned things around and deserves a break.

After reading this interview on Black Sports Network, it is quite obvious what Luke's appeal to the Football Program is. Not only has he been extremely involved with youth philanthropy throughout Miami, he also claims to produce 30% of the University's Football Players. Not a bad recruiting pipeline. Donations to Luke's Optimist club have come from athletes like Chad Johnson, Edgerrin James, and Antonio Bryant, all of whom were involved with Campbell at a young age.

This video, of what appears to be a pilot for a reality show and is definitely not for the kids, looks deeper into the life of the rap legend, and his "unique" coaching style:



"...Just Remember! Come every Saturday, my black ass is out here, that's $15 Thousand I could be gettin' up in a club somewhere, doing what I do!"

Good Luck to The U. College football seems better when they're near the top.

AG.

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Livin' Large

Hopefully, David Beckham can succeed in making soccer a more popular sport in the USA, because Americans need to run, alot. Check out this CNN graphic showing the obesity rate state by state over the last 20+ years.

Looks like the SEC is the Champ yet again.

AG.

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Jerry Reese is a Moron

On Thursday Jerry Reese, the new GM of the Giants, basically stated that Luke Petitgout, whom the Bucs signed this off-season from the Giants is not good at the game of football:

People act like Petitgout was the second coming. He never made the Pro Bowl, and I don't think he ever was a first alternate. Now all of a sudden he's the savior? That's ridiculous. I don't think we're that bad off without Luke Petitgout. He was not a star left tackle. He was a solid left tackle on some occasions and other times he wasn't. Luke has been a marginal player for a long time.

This seems like a pretty stupid thing for a GM to say. What is the point? Why not just say you have confidence in your new left tackle? It does not really seem necessary to ridicule the player who just left. First off, I can tell you right now that if Jerry Reese ever has to deal with Petitgout in any capacity there are going to be some problems for Reese. It is not unusual in the NFL for a GM to have to deal with a player later on in the player's career or even after the player has become a coach. Why burn your bridges? Furthermore, we are sure Petitgout's agent is non too happy about Reese's comments. This may come back to bit Reese in the ass if he ever has to deal with a another player represented by Petitgout's agent.

Reese's inexperience is showing. He reminds us a lot of Matt Millen when he first started out with the Lions. We would not have much confidence in our team's future if we were Giant's fans.

But as Bucs fans we would like to thank Reese for giving Petitgout a little inspiration

I don't know why he [Reese] is talking about me. I really have no comment, but it's going to be a nice thing to hang in my locker all season.

Giants fans can't be happy with the fact that their ex-left tackle handles the media better than their GM. Or with the fact that Eli Manning is their starting quarterback.

PA

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Notes from the Friday D-Rays - Red Sox Game

1. We started talking about the possibility of J.P. Howell throwing a no-no in the second inning. When he still had not given up a hit after three innings we seriously wondered if it was the longest a D-Rays pitcher had carried a no-no all season.

2. There were substantially more Red Sox than Devil Rays fans. Many of them were wearing absurd, green Sox paraphernalia which made us hate them even more. Some took it the full nine yards, and had the green Sox jersey along with the green hat which was propped on the head in some sideways fashion. We can say with confidence that every single one of these guys is a douche bag.



3. Women love them some Red Sox. Female Sox fans outnumbered female D-Rays fans at least 5-1. We are fairly certain that none of these women actually like or know anything about baseball they just enjoy being trendy. We vowed to never date a girl who says she likes the Red Sox.

4. When Maddon came in and took out Howell we were not happy. What were the chances that the bullpen could hold that lead at 1-0? Maybe 1 in 50? Probably more like 1 in 100. We found out later Howell was on a 90 pitch count, but still couldn't Maddon have used some flexibility when he had only given up one hit through 5+? Kevin Youkilis parked one into left field 4 pitches later.

5. Manny Ramirez does not hustle down the line. Perhaps because he is weighed down by his extraordinarily long hair. But he does hit the ball just ridiculously hard.

6. It is really easy to tell that BJ "Bossman Junior" Upton is new to centerfield. He took the worst path possible to the ball on Ramirez's double. And trust us, it takes Manny a while to make it to second.

7. Brendan Harris has the best intro song of any D-rays hitter by far - GnR's "Welcome to the Jungle".


8. They cover up the devil ray "touch tank" in the eight inning. But why? Are they trying to simulate night for the Rays. Seemingly light can still get through the sides of the tank. Very odd.

9. We decided that D-Rays chances of coming back in the bottom ninth down 7-1 were somewhere between 1-1000 and 1-100,000. Probably closer to the latter.

Gotta love the Rays.

PA

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Friday Love: College Football Comparisons

College Football Teams and Blockbuster Movies
::Bring Out Your Dead::

Oklahoma Sooners - The Boondock Saints: Really trendy to support about 5 years ago. Rumors of a return to glory persist but never seem to come to fruition. Something you think you might tell your kids about one day, but you'll realize better when you get a job and your daughter starts dating the maintenance guy at the local putt-putt.

College Football Teams and Rappers (An Oldie)
::HeavyLite::

Penn State/KRS-One- They'll be the first to tell you how important they are in the scheme of things and new jacks need to give them respect, but that doesn't shake the fact that they haven't been relevant in years.

AG.

Are Our Three Major Sports Invincible?

There have been a number of recent articles and reports on how all three of the major sports in the US are facing a significant challenge: the NFL has the Vick fiasco, the NBA has the Donaghy stuff, and baseball has steroids. Speculation about which story is going to do the most damage to its respective sport has been rampant. The Big Lead makes the argument that none of the events are going to have a significant negative impact on the fan base of any of the sports.

We agree with them and would go as far as to say that the NFL, MLB, and even the NBA, have arrived at a state of invincibility. We are hard pressed to think of a single story that would turn fans away from any of these three leagues in droves.

NFL

The NFL has been littered with player arrests this summer (see profootballtalk), they have been repeatedly accused of not taking care of their retired players, and most recently there has been the Vick indictment. But, it does not matter. The NFL will still grow in popularity this season. But Why? Why don't we care that many of the players in the league are thugs and possibly taking steroids? Two words: Fantasy Football. The NFL has always had its hard core fans and always will, but fantasy football has turned the casual fan into a serious fan who watches games, reads articles, discusses outcomes, and even buys merchandise. The effect of fantasy football on the popularity of the NFL may be unquantifiable. It also appears to be nearly irreversible: we could find out that ten players were suspended for taking steroids, 30% of ex-NFL players die prematurely due to injuries sustained during their playing careers, or even that multiple referees were involved in gambling. We would still tune in every Sunday and Monday.

MLB

Baseball has been plagued by the steroids problem for some time now. It also went through its own nasty gambling crises with the whole Joe Jackson and Pete Rose things. But none of these have been able to derail the game's popularity. In fact, according to the most recent issue of SI the average attendance at last Saturday's games was 39,977 -- the highest single-day average ever. Certainly, fantasy baseball has helped out the popularity of MLB, but we believe that its invincibility stems from its position as the historic national pastime of America. Baseball fans have die-hard allegiances to particular teams. These allegiances tend to be passed on from generation to generation establishing families of baseball fans. Most everyone I know roots for a particular team because that is team that their Dad liked. Turning one's back on baseball, and in particularly your team, is paramount to sacrilege for many. Baseball's position as a rite of passage from father to son has solidified its position in our culture.

NBA

The NBA could lose its popularity in the US. In fact, since the end of the Jordan Era its popularity has been declining fairly steadily. Its place in our culture is not permanent like that the NFL or MLB. However, due to its strong international contingent of players and ever increasing popularity in South America, Europe, and Asia the NBA is here to stay. In other countries, homegrown NBA stars are not perceived as thugs, but more along the lines that we perceive players in the MLB. America's fall from dominance on the international stage has only increased the popularity of the NBA in other countries. There is nothing these countries like more than beating us at one of our own games. We are hard pressed to think of any scandal that could seriously effect the popularity of the NBA as it continues to put a stranglehold on the entire globe.

Perhaps the invincibility of these sports should not shock us. Soccer long ago attained a similar position in the rest of the world. It is often rocked by scandals far worse than any of our three major sports have faced, but continues plugging right along. The only difference is that MLB, the NBA, and the NFL have become brand names inextricably associated with their respective sports. As long as the sport continues to have success so will the leagues.

PA

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Update: UCLA coaching salaries

Earlier we quipped that UCLA assistant coaches must not be making very much if they are engaging in petty residential burglaries. Apparently, there is some truth to this statement. Writing for espn.com in March, Ivan Maisel reports that Dorrell has had problems retaining assistant coaches

Yet as [Dorrell] begins his fifth year in charge of the Bruins, Dorrell has gone through assistant coaches like he buys them at Sam's Club. Some he fires. Some leave for better jobs. Some leave for different jobs.

As for why UCLA football goes through coaches so quickly, Maisel offers up a number of reasons including poor compensation.

UCLA scares off plenty of candidates because of the high cost of living in the Los Angeles area coupled with the state-run university's tradition of lagging behind the national market in coaching salaries. Take Dorrell. He is guaranteed $850,000 with incentives for another $505,000. Why, USC coach Pete Carroll has to work darn near till the end of May to make that kind of money.

In conclusion: high turnover rate of coaches + poor salaries = residential burglary arrest.


PA

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UCLA Coaches Need A Pay Raise

When running one on one drills in High School against our Defensive Backs, my Wide Receiver's Coach used to inspire us by yelling "Beat him like he stole something." Now, I wonder what kind of inspiration UCLA Receiver's Coach Eric Scott gives his players.

CBS2 reported that L.A. County Sheriff’s deputies responded to a 911 call to a residence on the 1100 block of Pioneer Boulevard in Norwalk yesterday and found Scott and two other men engaged in burglarizing a house. All three were arrested. Scott was released on $50,000 bail.

I don't know what UCLA is paying their coaches, but it's clearly not as much as the Defending Champs are paying theirs:

Yeah, that's a Running Back's Coach making $135,00/year.

AG.

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